and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
