Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
