I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
