Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
We named our party play list daddy issues
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
