I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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