We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
we're so committed to being not committed
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