areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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