you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
