Pregnant stripper...not hot.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
