D3 body, D1 cock
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
