watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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