Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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