So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
