My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
