Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
where am i from again
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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