He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
