yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
