come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
