eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Randomize
