Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Im part way to drunk.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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