I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
