have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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