Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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