we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
