ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Randomize
