i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
