he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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