So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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