Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
