I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
