Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
