Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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