I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize