I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
