U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I came so hard my ears popped.
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