Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Randomize
