It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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