Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
