Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
