There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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