He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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