Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
