piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Pants are for mortals
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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