Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
