Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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