Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
