I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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