i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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