ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i now understand why vodka
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize