I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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