1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
