I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
