Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
