i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
