he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize