I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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