Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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