Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
