I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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