I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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